Dear Diary

I was cleaning out a drawer this afternoon, and I found a diary that I wrote in during the early 90s. I can't believe how immature and silly I sound in this book. So much drama! The last time I wrote in this little book was 2003, but the postings were very sporadic after 1995. I'm not very consistent with stuff like that. I guess life gets in the way of keeping a regular diary.

Writing down secret thoughts and feelings can be cathartic, but it can also be a little embarrassing. I would hate for anyone (especially Ken) to read what I wrote back then. I even felt uncomfortable reading it just now. It was like I was reading someone else's diary because it sure didn't sound like me on those pages. I still feel a little bit weird and out of sorts.

What about blogging? Blogging isn't anything like keeping a diary. With blogging, you know someone might read your stuff, so that puts some restraint on what gets posted. Diaries are meant to be completely private. Anything goes! Do they even make those diaries with the cheap locks anymore?

I'm a different person now than I was back in 1992-1994 (when I kept most of that diary). I always tell myself that I haven't changed much over the years (personality wise), but that's obviously not true. I think I'm a more confident person now, but maybe I have just traded those old insecurities for new ones.

That diary has given me some food for thought. Who am I? How much do I really change as the years go by? I am in a contemplative mood as I think about my 47th birthday tomorrow. I hope I am a mature, secure, and confident woman these days because I wouldn't use these adjectives to describe myself back then.

Life can be strange and lovely and filled with events and moments that keep us always moving forward.

Reading Cat

I'm pretty much in love with this picture! A big Thank You to The Entertaining Elf for posting this!

Lent 2012

While I don't give up something during Lent, I do like to do something extra during this very important time of reflection and spiritual growth.

I have set some very specific goals to be accomplished (hopefully) by Easter, but I will only mention one of those goals here. I like to spend Lent focusing on a specific verse or passage from the bible. Here is what I have chosen for 2012:

From that place he went off to the district of Tyre. He entered a house and wanted no one to know about it, but he could not escape notice. Soon, a woman heard about him. She came and fell at his feet. The woman was a Greek, a Syrophoenician by birth, and she begged him to drive the demon out of her daughter. He said to her, "Let the children be fed first. For it is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs." She replied and said to him, "Lord, even the dogs under the table eat the children's scraps." Then he said to her, "For saying this, you may go. The demon has gone out of your daughter." When the woman went home, she found the child lying in bed with the demon gone. ~ Mark 7:24-30

I am in awe of this woman's persistence and faith because she could have slunk off at such a rebuke. I want mostly to reflect on the attitudes of both the woman and Jesus. How can this apply to me? Do I give up my prayers too easily when I don't get a response fast enough or if the response is not what I want? Is God's "silence" or unwanted response because God has other plans or because my faith is not strong or what? This should make for an interesting reflection.

Happy Lent 2012!

Movies 2012

1. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy--January 16
2. Red Tails--January 28
3. Safe House--February 11

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Movies 2011
Movies 2010
Movies 2009

Happy First Day of 2012!

I have a lot to be thankful for, and I pray God brings us many blessings as well as courage and strength to get through any hard times.

Maybe I'll start blogging again. I'm not really sure why I fizzled out during the year in the blogging arena, but there it is. I sort of lost interest in several things last year, so I will try to do a little galvanization.

We have a pretty big Europe trip planned for summer (more on that later). Our passports expire in June, but I have already sent away for new ones. For once I didn't procrastinate! Yes, I also often procrastinate on the positive and fun things...weird.

But what I really want to accomplish this year is to find a job that I love...or at least like in a strong way. I need to sit down and reevaluate my situation and options during this first month of 2012.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First things first: take down the Christmas tree. Hello, 2012!