Me in Five Words

I attended my British/American Lit 1950-present class last night. We played a game/exercise in response to our reading The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing. We were told to list five nouns/adjectives that we thought identified ourselves. We then had to number them from one to five, with one being the last one you would give up or change and five being the first you would give up or change. Keep in mind we only had about a minute to make our list. Here is what I quickly wrote down and numbered:

1. Christian/faithful to God
2. friend
3. peacemaker
4. happy
5. woman

I have thought about why, when told to think fast, I chose these five words.

I am a Christian. The interesting thing is that only two people (me and a young man) out of around twenty listed Christian or Faith in God on the list as the last they would give up or change. I consider my faith in God and His promise as the most important aspect about myself. I would give up everything (yes, everything) before I would give up that. Christian means "follower of Christ." It is easy to call myself a Christian, but it is hard to follow Christ and be truly faithful. I hope I can do both.

I am a friend. "Friend" should be the basis or foundation of just about any relationship, even marriage. That is why I did not put 'wife' on the list. Yes, I am a wife. It is a friend, however, that I want to be in all my relationships: wife, daughter, sister, stepmother, friend, etc. In my opinion, to be a friend means to love. A friend is someone who loves you and is there for you in any situation--even if the situation is inconvenient or unpleasant. It can be difficult to be a friend in any kind of relationship. I have not always been successful at being a true friend, but I try.

I am a peacemaker. I prefer peace and always strive to avoid conflict if possible. I believe people can talk through problems and not continually argue to see who is right and who is wrong. I also believe people should listen to what another person is actually saying instead of forming their response to what they think the other person is saying or going to say. I believe we should treat each other with respect, and that there is a right way to talk to people without degrading them or making them feel low.

I am happy. I am happy because I find joy in life. I love to laugh! I could have listed some of my not-so-positive attributes on my list above, but why dwell on those? Besides, in one minute, I could only think of the positive. I am happy! I also think that happiness is one of the many things in life that can contribute to good health. Even at my lowest, I can find something to be thankful for. I also like to hope that my happiness radiates out to include those around me.

I am a woman. This is the one thing on my list that I cannot change (except through surgery and hormone shots), but I listed it as the first one I would change. Yes, I would give up my womanhood first but not because I want to be a man. I like being a girl, but I would give it up first before I would give up the others on my list. It is interesting that I would even put 'woman' on the list, but I think it was because I was trying to come up with something physical--and I did not want to say short! My professor said that people often put on their list something that identifies them as a minority, hmmm.

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I have other nouns/adjectives that I would use to describe myself, but we were told to list only five words--quickly. I asked Ken last night for two words he would use to describe me. He hates doing this kind of stuff, but I managed to drag out some words. He said cute and nice. I told him those words made me sound like a puppy rolling around on the floor. Yes, we have a good time together because we are in love, and we are best friends-and I would not have it any other way! I picked sensitive and competitive for him.

This was fun and a little enlightening.