Being Grateful During a Not So Gratifying Week

This week has been sucky!

Okay, I did win my 9-ball match on Monday, but the week went downhill after that. Maybe it's because it's the last week before my last semester starts next Wednesday. Maybe it's because I had my annual checkup on Tuesday. Yuk! Necessary and important, I know. But, yuk. Maybe it's because I spent an obscene amount of money on books for these last three classes. Maybe it's because a friend's dad died this week. Maybe it's because I have recently realized that some people I have called friends over the years are really just acquaintances.

It's probably all of these things rolled up together. I'm bothered that I'm bothered to the degree that I'm bothered (huh?) because it's not my nature to be down or depressed for any length of time. I'm half full, truly! I am the first person to shout to the world that I have a lot of reasons to be grateful!

I guess I've just been bombarded this week by a whole lot of turbulence--unexpected and not so unexpected.

I need to turn my attitude around so that I focus only on this week's wonderful things rather than on the sucky things. Easier said than done, but I will try . . .

Actually, I feel a little better after typing out my woes. Blogging is therapeutic!

A Not-So-New Student

I haven't felt like blogging all week--but I have this here goal on my Day Zero list to blog at least once a week. I have been doing just that for quite some time now, and I even have a couple of topics just waiting to be blogged about:

• We went to Ken's high school reunion last weekend, so I want to blog about that (with lots of pictures). But not today
• Doreen, my wonderful friend, is moving to Albany, NY soon, so I want to blog about that. But not today

I guess today I will just mention a little something that's been shoving me in the back, propelling me forward. My last semester as a grad student starts in less than two weeks. My goal this summer was to have everything read or reread that's on my MA Comprehensive Exam reading list (exam is on October 25) before the first day of the semester. I'm almost there! Despite my tendency to procrastinate, I haven't spent the summer unwisely. I have read a lot of stuff.

I think what I really want to say is that I'm excited to start this last semester, but I'm reluctant as well. I'm ready to graduate, but I'm not ready to end my time as a student (what a ride!). What in the world will the future bring? I don't know, but I will trust God to make sure my path is true.

My Immediate Goal: I will do everything I can to enjoy this last semester so that I can get the most out of these remaining days as a not-so-new student. Here I go!

Shutterbug

Well, we finally got the last of our shutters installed yesterday. We now have six beautifully adorned windows!

This is our very large window in the master bedroom. We had some sheer curtains and nothing on the arch. I actually like to look out the window when I wake up as well as admire the stars through the arch at night, but it was time to put up something more substantial. As you can see, the arch is extremely large, so the shutter for it came in two pieces. I'm glad we had professionals install these things.

The arch/shutters over the doorway were also installed yesterday. I like that this small window now has a finished look. On the other hand, we can no longer peek through the window to see if the wasps that survived Ken's toxic ambush are rebuilding their nests on the porch ceiling. You can see the other arch and window to the left.

The guest room got shutters yesterday as well. Now guests don't have to wake up with the sun!

The third bedroom, the dining room, and the study/office kicked off the shutter extravaganza last year, and the master bedroom, second bedroom, and window over the door finished the process yesterday. Whew, finally.

***
It looks like the shutters are white, but they are actually a pearl color. Is there a difference? Not really, but the color matches our bookshelves and columns in the study as well as the ceiling color throughout the house. Subtle, I know, but it's the little things that tie a look together. In addition to looking fantastic, these shutters are functional as they do a fabulous job keeping out the heat of the sun as well as the cool air in the winter.

It only took us 15 years to take the big plunge to spend the money on these good quality and very delightful window treatments, but it was worth the wait. I have always liked to have a lot of natural light in our house, so it's nice to have shutters that I can adjust to let in just the right amount of lovely light from the great outdoors.

Home is my favorite place, and a few improvements here and there, now and then, make it so cozy.

A Life Filled With What's Important

I didn't log in to Facebook last week. The initiative to "unplug" from electronic time fillers and to plug into other positive things such as nature and reading came from my stepdaughter's church: Vineyard Community Church. I enthusiastically decided to join in, and I chose to give up checking Facebook for a whole week unless someone sent me a message that required an immediate response.

The result: I didn't miss Facebook. This doesn't mean I don't want to use Facebook--it just means I don't need a daily (hourly?) dose of social onslaught. I was able to confirm that I can use Facebook sparingly and still reap the benefits of staying connected. This was exciting and enlightening! Thank you, Jennifer! Thank you for sharing this experience with me.

I did utilize Goodreads a little more last week while I was unplugged from Facebook. Even though Goodreads is an electronic tool (hey, so is Blogger), I like that I can track what I read and what I want to read. I thoroughly enjoy using this wonderful site to enter or to update book information as well as to see what my friends are reading. Gotta love that!

On another note, I deleted my Twitter account. While many people find this social media tool fun and necessary to stay connected, I don't see any value in it for me personally. I never use Twitter, and I don't want to log in and watch tweets go by all day long. Ditto for Myspace: not needed. not wanted. goodbye.

I will continue to use Facebook on an as-needed basis so I can stay close to my family and friends. Facebook has become a powerful, global means to maintain connectivity . . . and it works for me--as long as I continue to recognize its value and don't allow it to strangle the other important aspects out of my life such as face-to-face interaction, learning, household chores, rest, recreational activities, reading, nature, and daily prayer.

Life is so much more interesting and meaningful when it's filled and balanced with what's important.

Please, Tread on Me

An impression of a leaf in concrete: who cares? I do, actually. This image can be amazing even though many might never take the moment to observe and to admire its simplicity. To me, this humble leaf cast in concrete represents the past, the present, and the future.

The past is fairly obvious. An image that boldly says, "I existed." This little leaf served its purpose to provide shelter, shade, and oxygen. The solitary leaf was then chosen to remain "alive" long after life has left in order to serve a new and lasting purpose.

The present is represented through the concrete that contains the leafy memory. Cement that humankind has perfected over time and uses almost everywhere. A firm matter that makes modern life easier, cleaner, starker. The leaf image provides a very small amount of softness and beauty to an otherwise utilitarian path.

Where is the future in all this? The invisible footprints that remain on the unassuming image track the future as the living advance to and fro into life's journey. The future is in the young and the old, human and beast, who run, skip, plod, shuffle, and tread on this imprint of the past preserved in the substance of the present.

Don't overlook nature when you venture into God's wondrous world, even nature that is preserved by humankind. Never discount the simple, the small, and the obscure that can possibly make you smile, cry, laugh, or ponder. This shade of a bygone leaf may not produce high emotion in the breast of the casual observer, but it can create a lasting impression on the soul if we allow it to penetrate the armor that is our distracted and busy lives. Admiration is free and takes but a moment.

I lived in the past * I dwell in the present * I uphold the future.

Blushing Beauty

Almost time to harvest this cute little Roma tomato.

Here are some more that will hopefully turn the same lovely shade of red.

Here's a different one. I like that even tomatoes don't always feel the need to conform completely.

Summertime!

Faster Than a Speeding Bullet

That's how fast this summer is moving: faster than a speeding bullet. July is almost half finished, and I am so not ready for August. The end of August means school and my last semester as a grad student. As I approach this final semester, I am excited, sad, scared, apprehensive, exhilarated, and sleepy.

The end of August also means my MA Comprehensive Exam will be right around the corner, which I have been preparing for by reading a lot this summer. I don't feel, however, that I have done enough or that I have always used this precious summer time wisely. I really need to kick it into a much higher gear . . . starting now!

Summer won't last forever, and speeding bullets must eventually land. Ready?

Pool Party!

No, it's not that kind of pool party with all the splashing, chlorine, suntan lotion, and tons of food. Although that does sound like a fabulous idea to get through our hot Texas summer.

It's about Pool.
This is what Ken and I do these days. We play pool . . . a lot!

And I'm not talking about heading out to the local pool hall every so often to breeze through a few racks. I'm talking about league nights with all the excitement and stress that goes with playing on a team against other teams. I play three nights a week and Ken plays four. I'm not sure who is crazier--Ken for being a pool-playing maniac, or me for allowing him to talk me into playing a game that is ridiculously hard with people standing around watching your every move. I have to admit though, it's a lot of fun.

If you have a mind to, come on over to the house and play a few games of 8-ball or 9-ball. If you're a beginner like me, we'll both get to shoot. If you play Ken, be prepared to rack just about every time and to sit and watch. He's sneaky good.

It's a Pool Party!

Peach Cobbling and Goal Checking

I consider myself a middlin' scratch baker, but I'm in the process of expanding this particular horizon. Here is my very first homemade peach cobbler. I had a lot of peaches that we bought last weekend at the farmer's market, and they were getting positively ripe--the whole house smelled like peaches. I had to do something with them before they graduated to deer food.

With a light dusting of sugar (Splenda) and cinnamon on top, the finished cobbler looks yummy!


Now it's even yummier with a dab of ice cream and a cup of coffee.

After making this cobbler from scratch, I was finally able to check off a goal on my Day Zero list.

Measuring the Immeasurable

Sonnet 43
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet needs, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints--I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!--and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

***
I believe it's possible to love another person so deeply that God could choose to allow that love to transcend death. Is it possible to measure this kind of love here on earth? Probably not while the loving is taking place--throughout the rise and fall and rise of life's moments, days, and years. It can be difficult to measure something that is often intangible or while it's in the course of full steam ahead.

Falling in love hurtles us to an unrealistic height, and we are often blinded by expectations of perfection. But love eventually flutters softly to the mortal ground, and, once there, it makes a decision: can true love grow here? As life takes hold, the glistering gold of new love settles into a gentle and knowing look, touch, smile.

I am fortunate to have weathered the inevitable descent of new love and to embrace the steady growth of true love. Loving someone for better or for worse, in sickness and in health is easy to say during a moment of emotional promise making. Fulfilling those promises takes a special courage and strength that can only come from God. Everyday life can be love's cruel enemy and intimate friend all in the same breath. But, through God, true and everlasting love will persevere and win the race. Only then can we look back on a lifetime of smiles and tears and confidently say, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."